


Firecrackers and Vampires

by DraniKitty



Series: Short stories from the Garbage Court [20]
Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Implied Nudity, Urban Magic Yogs, best tailor in the city, firecrackers, they caught a building on fire again, vampire tailor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 14:39:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8165434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DraniKitty/pseuds/DraniKitty
Summary: Smith, Ross, and Will are up to it again - Setting off small fireworks, this time in an old building. Unfortunately, Ross' jeans didn't survive the incident, so it's time to visit the tailor!





	

Trott sat up in bed, looking around. The only other person in the room, and the bed, was Sips, who tried to pull him back down.   
  
“Trott, you’re letting the cold air in…”   
  
Trott only brushed Sips’ hand away, getting up. “Hold on, I thought I heard something…” He went to the window, looking out. No care was given if anybody saw him. After all, why should he? What could they do? The flat was private property and he could walk around any state he pleased, even naked.   
  
Sips stretched, rolling over to stare at Trott’s back. “You know, this is a GREAT angle to look at you from. The light makes a GREAT curve of shadows across your ass.”   
  
“Mm..” Trott’s eyes narrowed at the city beyond, frowning. “How long have Smith, Ross, and Will been gone?”   
  
Sitting up, Sips scratched at his cheek. “I dunno, a couple hours?” He watched Trott, then bent down and grabbed his boxers. They were a pair Will had gotten him for his birthday, covered in tiny dildos in multiple colors. Where Will had even FOUND them, Sips would never know, but he’d gotten a good laugh about them. He walked over to Trott, hugging him from behind. “So, what d’ya think you heard?”   
  
Trott leaned back, humming a moment, “I’m not sure… But it can’t be good and I suspect our three missing court members are BEHIND it.”   
  


* * *

  
  
Elsewhere in the city, Smith, Ross, and Will were busy running down the stairs of an otherwise abandoned building, Smith and Will covering their mouths with their shirts.   
  
“Why did I let you talk me INTO this?!”   
  
“Because you wanted to set off firecrackers inside as much as we did!”   
  
“Well I didn’t expect-” A boom overhead had Will ducking as ceiling tile dust fell around them. “-For there to be a gas line that’s STILL LIVE!”   
  
Ross looked up, then shoved both out the door of the building. “Stop talking, run MORE!” Only when they were all outside did they stop to look up at the building, an old multi-story block of flats that had to be older than all but Ross. Flames were visible in more and more windows, as the fire raced between flats on old rotting wood.   
  
Will licked his lips, prepared to say something, but quickly forgot as he made a face. “Eugh, that tasted NASTY!”   
  
Smith let out a snort of laughter, then turned and walked back for his car. “I think I got napkins or something in my glove compartment. Come on, Ross, stop staring and let’s go.”   
  


* * *

  
  
Trott was up and waiting when they got home. Calm as the ocean under a full moon, he sipped his tea. “Did you three have fun, setting a building on fire?” There was hesitation from them all, as Trott stood up. He set the cup down on the coffee table, then walked over, arms crossing. “From Smith, I expect this. From Ross, I’ve learned to. But Will… I’m all for chaos, but even I think you’re learning the WRONG kind.”   
  
Will shifted, rubbing his arm. He started to say something, when the sound of heavy fabric hitting the floor reached his ears. All eyes turned to Ross, who stood staring down at his jeans, piled around his ankles.   
  
“I think I need new trousers…” Ross bent over, picking them up. “They got a little… Burned?”   
  
Trott sighed, covering his face with one hand. “You’re all like unruly pups, teasing the fishermen and stealing their nets…” He motioned at the bathroom, “All of you go shower, then we’re going to the tailor so we can get Ross new trousers. We can’t have him walking around in boxers.”   
  
Stopping at the bathroom door, Will looked at Trott funny. “Is it a fae tailor? Because I can’t see us walking into any shop run by a human with a gargoyle and NOT getting chased out.”   
  
“Of COURSE we’re going to a tailor for fae!” Trott walked over, shoving Will into the bathroom. “Now go on, you smell like burned everything! It stinks!”   
  
“Going, going!”   
  
“And no shower blowies!”   
  
Moving the shower curtain, Smith and Ross pouted out at him and, in unison, whined, “But Trooooott!”   
  
“None!”   
  


* * *

  
  
The shop was unassuming, nestled in a small side street too narrow to drive down, but still wide enough to feel non-threatening to the average, and rather ignorant, human. A bob and thread were painted in the window, and the light coming from inside was warm and inviting, that silent and open invitation to fae and other magical creatures alike that they had an automatic invitation.   
  
Will scratched the back of his calf with his leg, staring at the shop’s hours. “What kind of a shop doesn’t open until after sunset?” He found it odd that it was open all night, and had such odd hours.   
  
Trott opened the door, ushering Ross and Will in. “A special kind.” He followed after, listening to the door jingle as it closed.   
  
Every article of clothing was vastly different from the next, clearly designed to accommodate inhuman appendages. From extra arms, to one, two, three pairs of wings, small skinny tails to big thick tails, it was all clearly meant for fae.   
  
Will carefully picked at a shirt, examining the stitching. It had to be the best he’d seen.   
  
“If you pull the stitching out, you have to pay for it.”   
  
Jumping, Will turned around. “I was only looking!”   
  
The man in front of Will had his arms crossed, one foot tapping on the floor. “Just be careful.” He turned around, walking over to Trott. “You brought a human into my shop, Trott. You know it’s for fae only, you don’t even bring your mortal king in here!”   
  
“I’m sorry, Garion, it’s the only way to keep easier track of them.” Trott let out a sigh, then slapped Will’s hand. “Put that down!”   
  
“Ow! Fine, fine!”   
  
Giving Will a look, Trott turned back to Garion. “I let Ross, Smith, and Will out of my line of sight all at the same time, and things go up in flames. Including Ross’ trousers!” To emphasise his point, Trott motioned at Ross.   
  
Freezing with a vest with gems on it close to his mouth, Ross’ tail flicked back and forth, nearly catching the pajama trousers he was wearing. “Um… I was…”   
  
Garion gave him a look, swatting Ross away. “Why do you always try to EAT things when you come in here? You’re worse than a kelpie!”   
  
“I can’t help it, it looks tasty!” Ross backed away from the vest, letting out a huff.   
  
Trott rubbed his face, then turned and pointed at a chair. “Will, sit there! Touch NOTHING.”   
  
“But what if I have to, I don’t know… Pee?” Will motioned around the shop, then out the window. “What, do I just go outside and pee on the wall?”   
  
Both Trott and Garion gave him horrified looks, before Garion pointed at a door, “If you have to pee, use the bathroom!” He then pointed at Ross. “Come on, you, we need to make you new jeans. I can’t believe they gave out… They’re JEANS!”   
  
“To be fair,” Trott said, “We’ve lost count how many times they’ve been burned, soaked, ripped, and the like. We figured you’d be angrier if we asked you to fix them again with the state they’re in.”   
  
Pausing as he grabbed his measuring tape, Garion stared at Trott for a moment. Finally, he stood up and went over to Ross, starting to measure the base of his tail. “You have a good point, I’d probably throw iron or something at you both.”   
  
Ross let out a huff, “Why not Will?”   
  
“Because he’s human, I could just suck his blood.” There was a verbal pause, before Garion pointed up at Ross, “Whatever you’re thinking of, stop.”   
  
“Well, I’m just wondering… If it’s a VAMPIRE sucking a dick, is it called a VLOJOB?” Ross frowned, then looked to Trott, “A vampire blowjob?”   
  
Trott only sighed, covering his face. “Sedna please make him stop..”   
  
“Well it’s not like I have to worry about MY dick getting bitten!” Tail curling, Ross gave Trott a smug look. “A benefit of it being made of glass!”   
  
Standing up, Garion only shook his head. Trott kept his face covered, muffling his voice as he said, “We could probably find somebody who can break it, though. All glass breaks, even glass made flexible by magic.”   
  
Ross gave a start, going quiet.   
  


* * *

  
  
As they left, Will glanced over his shoulder at the shop. Ross and Trott were lost in conversation for the moment, Ross toting the bag his new jeans were in, while Will was lost in thought. Finally he asked, “Is it me or was he staring at my neck?”   
  
Trott shrugged, then gave Will a pat on the back. “Probably. You ARE human, after all.”   
  
“What’s that got to do with my neck?”   
  
“Because Garion’s a vampire. We don’t take Sips there for that exact reason, and he tends to invite trouble like that to himself sometimes.”   
  
Will stopped, gaping after Trott and Ross. After a moment, he hurried after Trott, walking next to him. “Wait, you took me into a shop run by a VAMPIRE? I could have been eaten!”   
  
Trott only laughed, patting Will’s cheek. “But you weren’t, sunshine. You’ve enough of a head on you to know what to avoid, and the fact Garion gave you the willies-”   
  
“Is that a pun on my name?”   
  
“No, it’s a common term, people probably don’t use it around you.” Tugging his jacket closer around himself, Trott let out a huff. “Now let’s go home, and no more lighting buildings on fire! Either of you!”   
  
Shifting the bag his jeans were in from one hand to the other, Ross asked, “What about Smith?”   
  
Snorting, Trott said, “Believe me, if I could find a way to control Smith’s destructive tendencies WITHOUT taking his bridle, I would have employed it by now.”   
  
“Is nobody else concerned by the fact there’s a vampire in the city?”   
  
Ross pulled Will into a one-armed hug, resting his cheek on Will’s head. “You live with a kelpie, and you’re worried about a VAMPIRE. That’s adorable and strange.”   
  
“People live with wolves, that doesn’t mean they’re not afraid of the bear.”   
  
Falling slightly behind them, Trott could only let out a sigh, shaking his head. “Sedna help me..”


End file.
